WAY TO BE... DATING

I was once asked in one of my wards to present a class to the young single adult women at one of their Relief Society enrichment nights on dating and what the young men were looking for in girls to date. It was a unique and humbling experience and one that I very much appreciated because I was able to see the sisters of my ward in a new light and really open up, asking very sincere and honest questions. They wanted to know what they needed to do and who they needed to become to be able to date and be one day married. This is the outline of my presentation.

These “Be’s” are applied to dating. Some are new and some are straight from President Hinckley’s book. Please realize that the intent of this is not to take anything away from President Hinckley’s 9 "Be’s" in his book “Way to Be!” A few more “Be’s” have been added along with some new definitions. Some of the “Be’s” here are the same as President Hinckley’s, all I have done is applied his teachings towards dating. This is why I title this the “Way to Be… Dating!” book if it was a book. He didn't write this and he has no idea it was written. For best results read and apply what President Hinckley teaches in his book “Way to Be!” and if you still can’t figure out dating and how to prepare for marriage then maybe these ideas will help.

1. Be Yourself.
- Be True to yourself.
- People want to get to know you and not you trying to be the same as your date or you trying to be something that you’re not.
- Be confident in yourself and be patient until you find someone who appreciates you for being you.

2. Be Approachable.
- There is no need to be intimidating. Let people get to know you.
- Be friendly and nice. If you can be outgoing to everyone especially those of your same sex.
- Nobody wants to be with someone who is grumpy, frumpy, and cold. Smile and be pleasant.

3. Be Prepared.
- This includes Be Smart and Be Involved.
- Have goals. Have hobbies. Have interests. Do things with your free time.
- Prepare to be the best mother/father you can be.
- Have a Sheri Dew plan. Seek an education and prepare for a career in case things do not work out and do not allow you to be a stay at home mom.

4. Be Family Oriented.
- Believe in, embrace, and follow The Proclamation on the Family.
- Want to be a husband/wife and a father/mother first and foremost.
- Make your future family your number one priority.
- Single Adults should help each other understand the importance of motherhood and family.
- Guys should be encouraging of girls who do not want to work and just be a mother.
- Girls should not be afraid to say that they would rather stay at home to raise a family over doing anything else if that is what they desire.
- Get in the habit of having family home evening each week along with daily personal and family scripture study and prayer.

5. Be Positive.
- President Hinckley pretty much covered everything on this one.
- No one should marry a negative person.

6. Be Presentable.
- You never know when you’re going to run into Mr. or Mrs. Right.
- Why not always have on your best face. You don’t want to get looked over.
- Be clean. Try not to always be crawling out of bed and going straight to class in your pajamas. You’re mother isn’t here to stretch the truth and tell you how cute you look in your pajamas.

7. Be Valiant.
- Be Grateful, Humble, Still, and Prayerful.
- Pray for what you want and cast out all fears while going into healthy relationships with faith.
- Magnify your membership in the Church. Be the best member that you can be. Not only will the Lord bless you but what type of person wants to marry someone who doesn’t magnify their calling or do their home or visiting teaching.
- Most likely it will be the father leaving for work each day and he will want to be able to trust that his children will be taught the true gospel each day by a loving mother who loves the Lord while he is away.

8. Be Hard Working.
- Have a strong work ethic. No one wants to marry someone without it.
- Everyone wants to have children who will be hard workers. This will be hard to accomplish if one of the parents has a bad work ethic.

9. Be Modest.
- Men and women who really love the Lord want to be with someone who dresses modestly.
- Those who really love the Lord will love themselves as they should, will appreciate and understand the divine power of motherhood, and will seek to be modest. Men, do all that you can and more to honor your priesthood. Women can be a big support in helping them honor the priesthood.
- Do not conform or modify the commandments to fit in with today’s culture. It’s the culture that needs changing not the commandments.

With all this being said do not forget to date. Date a lot and remember a date is just a date until you go on a handful of dates with the same person. Do not date with fear and don’t worry about tomorrow.